Mumbai, a grope fest

From the pages of the Times of India newsprint today comes an article outlining one of the many challenges facing female life in Mumbai. It is quite apparent when when we hit the streets in Mumbai, that a 6ft tall Australian man is of little interest to the locals (unless he's a cricketer), his wife on the other hand is very keenly observed...
The paper reports that by the age of 20 the local girls have learnt many a lesson that unfortunately their freedom ends where the man-on-the-street's fingers begin, so they must;
- Learn how to deal with stares from men of all ages
- Learn how to use their arms, elbows and handbag while getting into a bus or a train as armour for her breasts
- Know how to hold their handbag while seated in a bus so that the man next to her doesn't get a chance to elbow her or press down on her with his forearms
- Know how to move in a line so as to escape the pressure of the guy behind her, all the while keeping her armour in place.
- Be alert while walking on the road for oafs coming towards her who swing their hands a little too hard or suddenly push out their elbows.
Most of Mumbai's 18million inhabitants (there are 811 females to every 1000 males) rely on public transport to travel to and from their workplace due to the lack of car parking spaces and terrible roads. Trains are the only form of public transport we've used so far. The trains have 1 carriage for women and when it's full Shaz has to make the best of it in the "First Class" cabin with all the men. By the way there's no silver service in the first class carriage it's the same as the other carriages, it's hoped that the added expense of a few rupee on the ticket price will raise the bar on the type of commuter.
So far so good for Shaz, she has taken it all in her stride to be part of this crazy, crumbling, cosmopolitan city, not one of the expats who is driven from door to door by a driver (although that would be very nice).

One for the Funny Bone...

Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her
95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
“He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing
our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was
when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm.
Nice and slow and even...
Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued.....
“He'd still be alive if the f#k*g ice-cream truck hadn't come along".

Recent Pics

Children on the beach at Varkala..

When you don't have a mirror on the beach to see if your sunscreen is rubbed in and you have a photo taken instead.. remember to delete the photo.. ;)






Oh mum look.. my new wheels... well not yet..



The name's Bond..
the pic was taken is a tiny cafe near the Crawford Markets. Behind me is the kitchen and we could only imagine what was behind the kitchen as a very unpleasant smell wafts in...




Haji Ali Dargah Mosque which could only be reached at low tide before the path was built. Many stalls, beggers and worshipers.

Boxing Day

Boxing day was a day of travel back from Varkala to Mumbai via Cochin. We struck a deal with Pia and her parents to share a 4 hour car ride back to Cochin for our flight, so we rose before dawn to make sure we were there with enough time to spare. We made it but in good Indian tradition the driver decided to renegotiate the price on arrival.. Pia had no intentions of letting this happen.
A few hours later we arrived in Mumbai, grabbed a rickshaw and headed back to the apartment. Pia and her folks stayed the night on their way back to Australia so we kept the christmas spirit going.

Boxing day also saw us welcome another traveller from home.

Jo Shaw was welcomed to "Ram Krupa" for the start of her adventure in India, unfortunately a later than expected dinner and bad traffic.. saw us late to the plane station to meet Jo.. oops.. but we still had the welcome card ready!! Be warned.. when you visit you will be welcomed in a similar fashion..
A day later we farewelled Pia and welcomed Gali to help us celebrate New Years. Now that is another story altogether...

Our Christmas Family Fun

We had quite a bit of help celebrating christmas which all started before we'd even caught up with Dave and Fiona. As you do we had to have a welcome drink to Varkala so we stopped in at one of the many cafes along the clifftop to have a Kingfisher.. The only catch is that we had to drink the beer from mugs and hide the half empty bottle away from the roving eye of the local police sergent. We understand that the cafes need a special licence to serve alcohol which is too much hassle so just keep your beer by your toes..
It was at this cafe we met Pia and her father Neil from the Sunshine Coast. So we spent the afternoon refreshing our welcome drinks before catching up with Dave and Fiona. Pia, Neil and wife Lolly were in Varkala to celebrate Christmas, this was only the first aussie family we met as it wasn't long before Fiona was introducing us to Brenton (aka trouble) another Aussie waiting for is brother and parents to join him for Christmas. Two days later we meet another Aussie family from Freo.. Varkala the family holiday destination...
We tore off back down the beach for a quick swim before sunset and found out how quick a swim it'd be.. the Aussie trained lifesaver ushers everyone out of the water at sunset so we can get ready for our night of great food, great friends and a few more welcome drinks.. The beach is where it all happens, its full all day and those with a little too much sun return for sunset where there's people from across the planet chatting whilst listening to a saxophonist from Spain or watching fire twirlers practice.

We had an abundance of choice for meals with Thai, Tibetan, Itialian, fresh seafood, Chinese and south Indian dishes. Our favourite had to be the Thai cafe though.
Varkala also has one or two watering holes which aren't shy in serving as long you're ordering. We just had to watch out for the locals getting a little juiced up on the firewater with a blue breaking out on more than one occasion. One fella was brought back into line by his mates who decided a good dose of thong (flip flop) slapping was in order.. All the restaurants are decked out for the Christmas celebrations some even bring out the Christmas elephant to draw the patrons.. The Funky Arts Cafe received a fair slice of patronage with just a few Long Island Iced Teas being ordered.. the drinks seemed to have a strange effect on Fiona and Brenton... Each night a place along the cliffs takes the lead in being the spot of choice and this night it was Coconut Grove.. A place at the end of the walking track where a local DJ with an Aussie girlfriend was playing some good house, the beer was coolish, a rope swing was up and swinging there was a tall bald fella in orange pants showing us all how the dancing was done..



Oh yeah Christmas... We had a great Christmas eve with Gali from Isreal, Christmas eve was also the birthday of an Irish girl named Christmas, yes Christmas.. So as you can guess more celebrations, more long island iced teas with funny drunk waiters and the latest in Bollywood dancing by some of the locals. Christmas eve rolled into Christmas morning with more swimming, lazing and Christmas lunch. Shaz shared her Indian lunch with Dave and Neil and I shared a pizza with Pia for a bit of much needed comfort food...


Luckily we are here for a little while so we'll head back south to take an overnight float on the Kerala backwaters, one of the must do things we missed 'cause the beach was sooo good..

To all the people we met over Christmas all the best to you and hope you have a fantastic 2007!!

Our journey to christmas

Well we may have had a winter christmas this year but it was much more like an Aussie Christmas than a white northern christmas. We decided to split from the craziness of Mumbai and spend a few days relaxing at a beautiful beachside villiage called Varkala in the state of Kerala about a 1&1/2 hour flight south of Mumbai. Ahhh bliss.. We thought we may have to jump over to Thailand to find a place to chill out and relax, but Varkala has it all, beautiful beaches where we could swim or just sit in the sun, fresh seafood, great restaurants, massages and accommodation right on the rocky cliff top.

Ah yes, this beautiful place became more beautiful thanks to the journey we had to get there.. and to stay true to our adventures to date this one should be no different. Booking air travel on the internet was a killer with Indian nationals favoured over the lazy traveller... So we thought we had booked a good ticket only to find we couldn't pay for it with international credit cards. The next 12 hours was spent chasing emails and phone calls which repeatedly disconnected to book the tickets. Finally we had our e-tickets for 5.30am from Mumbai to Cochin. What the..?? Cochin?? oops Thiruvananthapuram Airport was closer, quick change the flight... Too late and too much drama, so we decided to add to our adventure by taking a 140km train journey to Varkala.. We packed the bare essentials the night before, set the alarm and made it to the flight on time. Now 140km by train may not sound far and it's not when you have personal space. We bought our tickets sleeper class 120rupee (about $3.40 AUD) We sorted our train number and watched as the 15 or so sleeper class carriages rolled by absolutely chockers..
So on we get, trying to find a place to sit amongst the many families and getting looked at like we were the circus passing through town.. After stumbling through two carriages we found some space in the cooking car and held up there for a station or two until we got a chance to trek back through to find a space.
It was a big space for a few seconds then we were shoulder to shoulder with the locals. We smiled and shared their biscuits, played with the kids and kept close to the widows for the next few hours as the South Indian countryside slid by over the next 4 hours..
We travelled to Varkala to meet up with David and his friend Fiona. Lucky they were already there as Fiona who's a tour leader with Travel Indochina booked a Bamboo hut just behind the clifftop shops. Fantastic spot! The lights were out and there was even a litter of kittens in the 2nd hut we stayed in. It was just so beautiful to be beachside and be absolutely lazy about it feeling very satisfied that we could return should we feel the need.. but next time the kittens will be cats and we'll fly to the right plane station..

Anon

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.